Archive for the ‘ Death ’ Category

Grandma

I guess there will always be an excuse to why my blog is not updated as often as I would like….This time I have a valid reason. My Grandma was very sick and was admitted to the hospital… she died on February 19th…..  I was left with many responsibilities…including writing the Eulogy….

When I wrote it…. I thought about that poem  that states ” I want the memory of me to be a happy one… and so I wrote my Grandma’s eulogy in that tone….

My Grandmother, Winnifred Amanda Alexander was born in a small District in Briton in St. Elizabeth, On February 18th, 1924, or was it March 3rd? She celebrated 2 birthdays for a while but later decided to celebrate her day of birth on February 18th. She was born to Ferdinad Alexander (Bredda Tun) and Ida Lewis. Bredda Tun was a World War 1 veteran and upon returning home he was awarded a piece of land in Trelawny, he and his Family then moved to Trelawny, it was there she found her life long partner Allan Lionel Clarke, they got married on February 19th, together they had 5 children Cherry, Forbie, Blossom, John and Junior.

 

Allan and Winnifred moved to Carpenters Road in Kingston, while at Carpenters Road, After her last child Uncle Junior started school, she learnt the trade of hairdressing and practiced in Half- way – tree for many years, she later moved her hairdressing business to her home in Washington Gardens after Grandfather’s passing in 1990.

 

My Grandma as I knew her was a very kind, caring and nurturing individual and usually very soft spoken…Don’t be fooled however as she was very stern disciplinarian, some of my earliest memories of her was at age 3, is being slapped with red hair dressing comb for trying to climb out of the crib…I was subsequently slapped several times after that…

 

She was very particular about her appearance, her hair was always combed neatly and her clothes were always very stylish, and some of which I remember she sewed herself, my role was to “String machine needle” and accompany her to purchase fabric for her dresses Her meticulousness was very evident even in her last days, while at the hospital when a nurse offered to cane row hair, she responded by telling the nurse that she’s unsure if that style would suit her as not accustomed to combing her hair in that style.

 

Grandma wasn’t only stylish she was also a great cook and loved to bake, even if I wasn’t told that one of my Uncles or my Aunt were coming to visit, as soon as I hit the gate I could tell by the smell…in the oven was bread pudding, potato pudding or cornmeal pudding…My favourite was the bread budding….and yes I’m the culprit for eating off the bread pudding she baked for Uncle Forbie on last visit in January…

 

At Christmas time, she made some on the nicest Christmas pudding, I remember fighting of the batter bowl with my cousin Wayne…if the batter tasted so good…can you imagine the cake. Christmas dinner was always her chance to showcase her recipes…she deserved the title of BOSS for the roast beef and my favourite potato Salada….hmmm I can just taste know….Mummy that baton has been passed to you….I hope this Christmas you will live you up to her standards…

In her quiet time she read her bible, mediated and prayed, her favourite show was the Young and Restless, she sat  every week day evening and watched it with Mother….if my Mother were  running late she would call to ensure that she would make it in time for their usually routine. She was happy to give up her Sunday responsibility of cooking dinner…and passed it on to Mom

She went by many names, Mama, Grandma, Miss Winnie, Auntie Winnie, Mrs. Clarke and more recently GG, which was Zaine’s for her…yes she was Great- Grandmother…and one strong enough to enjoy play dates  and eating ice cream. Though she went by many names…she was also the giver of names as well…Aunt Blos  who’s right name is Hyacinth….was affectionately called Queenie, my Mother was nicknamed Cherry, Uncle Ken was nicknamed Forbie, Uncle John was  Johnny Cool, the cool reflecting his calm demeanor  and Uncle Junior, who was named after his Father of the same name.

My Grandma lived a full and fruitful life, and passed a few hours after celebrating her 87TH birthday, on February 19th, though I know she’s in a better place…I will miss her dearly, the lemonade she makes, puddings, the sent of ackee and saltfish and fried dumplings waking me up on a weekend morning, helping her to get dressed to go to church. I will have to trust in Zainey’s words, He says that you’re gone to Jesus and Jesus is a good man, and his ok with that.

She is survived by her 4 Children, 11 Grandchildren and 4 Great – Grandchildren….friends and family….though she’s no longer here in the physical…she is alive and well in our hearts.

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Day 18: A letter to someone you miss.

My almost 30 years on earth, I think I have hard fair share of deaths….that I have somewhat become numb to it….of all the people I have lost…the one that I miss the most is my brother….the irony is that I don’t miss what we shared….I missed what we never had.

My Brother Andrew was shot and killed at age 32, on March 4th, 2000, I was 18 at the time of his death. Andrew lived with his Mother and Brother in Canada. My first encounter with him was when I was about 6 years old when he came to visit our Dad. There is not much that we could have shared then because of the age difference…but I as a grew older he I would hear from him ever so often..and every time a family member would visit he would be sure to send an age appropriate gift for me.

So why do I miss him….I miss the chance to have an elder brother and little sister relationship, I miss attending his wedding with his then girlfriend Natasha….I miss the opportunity of being an Aunt to his kids….I miss summer trips to Canada with Zaine that he could have gotten the chance to play with his cousins…..

My brother lost his life over something absolutely senseless…..death is so final…and robs the family and friends of  future possibilities….He was an aspiring designer… and I miss the opportunity to wearing his designs or even creating a line with him……at the time of his death he had created several pieces, which I now have the privilege of owning a few from his line….They may not fit me…or I may not wear them….but they are the last memory I have of him…. along with some pressed rose petals…that I took from a rose I threw on his grave…..

Andrew Anthony Robotham… Maybe you live forever in our hearts…..

Day 17: A photo that makes you want to cry.

A photo that evokes sadness….I have so many…I’ve lost so many friends….but the a photo of O’Neil always makes me tear up….still can’t believe he’s gone…. RIP

Day 6: A song that makes you cry.

Its funny how a song can make you cry….but music evokes emotion…this particular songs makes me cry….its speaks of death…and how we should value each day…..I cry because it was first associated with death of Neil…and every time I hear it….I think of him…surprisingly Neil and I weren’t very close at the time of his passing…but 10 years ago…I  actually met into my first car accident while Neil was driving…the irony is that it happened very similar to the accident that took him away from us….

Here’s to you Neil…Kris Allen: Live like we are dying

Lyrics:

Sometimes we fall down, can’t get back up
We’re hiding behind skin that’s too tough
How come we don’t say I love you enough
Till it’s to late, it’s not too late

Our hearts are hungry for a food that won’t come
And we could make a feast from these crumbs
And we’re all staring down the barrel of a gun
So if your life flashed before you,
What would you wish you would’ve done

Yeah, we gotta start
Looking at the hands of the time we’ve been given
If this is all we got and we gotta start thinking
If every second counts on a clock that’s ticking
Gotta live like we’re dying

We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell them that we love them
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we’re dying

And if your plane fell out of the skies
Who would you call with your last goodbye
Should be so careful who we live out our lives
So when we long for absolution,
There’ll no one on the line, yeah

Yeah, we gotta start
Looking at the hands of the time we’ve been given
If this is all we got and we gotta start thinking
If every second counts on a clock that’s ticking
Gotta live like we’re dying

We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell them that we love them
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we’re dying

Like we’re dying, oh, like we’re dying..

We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell them that we love them
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we’re dying

You never know a good thing till it’s gone
You never see a crash till it’s head on
Why do we think we’re right when we’re dead wrong
You never know a good thing till it’s gone

Yeah, we gotta start
Looking at the hands of the time we’ve been given
If this is all we got and we gotta start thinking
If every second counts on a clock that’s ticking
Gotta live like we’re dying

We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell them that we love them
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we’re dying

Like we’re dying, oh, like we’re dying..

We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell them that we love them
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we’re dying..

Click the link to view video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTALLCna6gY

Day 5: A photo of something you really hate.

My installation for day five… arrives a few hours late…..but as they say better late than NEVER…..This statement is right inline with what I hate DEATH…..

Once you have life death is inevitable…but it comes with so much hurt and pain…especially if its sudden…I won’t say untimely….as I believe that GOD has a blue print of  our lives…and when and how you die…when written from the first day you were placed on this earth…

Below is the best picture I found that represents DEATH!!!!

These 3 letters R.I.P

This would officially be my first Blog entry…I wrote it on February 25th, 2010… a few days after Neil’s passing….It was posted on Facebook as a NOTE…..

As I sit at my desk, and noticing the clock on the wall, thinking it nearing the time to go home. The tears stream down my face, as I am yet faced with with writing these 3 letters R.I.P, beside another one of my friends’ names. It hurts, and knowing at the tender age of 28, I have done it about 15 times, including the death of my brother and Grandfather, whom I was very close to when he passed, I was 9 years old at the time. What is profound about death is that one minute you’re here and literally the next minute you are gone. All what you have lived for and the world we once knew, all seems a distant memory even if it were one minute ago.

I will never understand the concept of death, don’t try to explain it….I am the slow kid in the back of the class…one thing I know for sure, is live your life to the fullest and live each day like your last. I was never the one to keep malice, and my views of keeping malice changed on the night of Nick Lue’s death, December the 19th, 1998. After hearing the news that he had passed, we drove to the hospital, a crowded scene by the ICU, was full of the usually party goers,and those closest to him, there was no laughter this time, but tears, tears and more tears for a fallen soldier….I remember hugging Brooke who was crying and crying and then she shouted “he wasn’t even talking to me”. Those words Brooke shouted,which she wouldn’t have ever known has changed my outlook on life. Their friendship had ended because what it may seem now, as very trivial matter, and somewhat will never be resolved.

I started looking at life differently, changed my point of views, I began to live positive, and stoped looking at the negatives, always tried to resolve my differences with my friends, and no is wasn’t a “beg fren” occasion, but if I lost you the next minute, I wouldn’t forgive myself, that we parted with malice in our hearts. I try to be more cordial to people, that doesn’t mean you can take me for a walk over….because I won’t allow it!

I am always focusing on ways to improve my life, and not materially but wholistically…… at the time of my passing, I would want to know that ‘the dash’ was well spent. That I lived life to the fullest, I made it a pleasure for my family and friends to be around me. Those I encounter, would always have nice things to say about me, I want my eulogy to be a wonderful one.

I am not one to write notes, but in the past month I have heard too much RIPs ( and this is not even a leap year)….and its getting to me now…ll too much at one time….so as I part temporarily, I just want my friends and family to change the way they live, change their mindset and change their outcome, Be positive, think positive and live your life to the fullest!

Do what makes you happy!

RIP Grandpa, Flex, Nicky Lue, Andre Stewart, Racy Dog, CDG, Andrew Robotham Michelle Robotham, Aunt Merci, Jason E, Taj Burell, JR Harris, Jamie Lue, Sha, Chris Lindo, Patti- Ann, Julio, Neil, Stone

There are others…..RIP our Fallen soldiers

Please excuse my errors 😉

…and today I add Oneil…. Sleep in eternal peace